The divorce rate has risen worryingly in recent decades. Individualism emerged to the surface, supported by personal rights considered inviolable, and empowerment of women. These things have really increased divorce rate and reduced the attractiveness of marriage. Many couples today prefer to live together without having a formal act which would have deep social and legal implications. There are many reasons why people do not want to get married. One is fear of divorce. Such separation can be caused by emotional or physical abuse, extramarital affairs, lack of money to maintain a decent lifestyle and those are just a few examples. Divorce is a traumatic experience for whatever perspective you look. Stress, suffering and bad things washed in public, many of them are divorced people who don’t want to remarry and are afraid to do the same mistake a second time.
Taking in consideration all these reason, but not only, when you are proposed by your partner, if you are not sure about how much you love your partner, if he is only an decorative object in you relation, if he/she is to possessive or obsessed of control, perfectionist or have some other personality disorders then you should have the power to say no. It is not a disaster, it doesn’t matter if people will speak about this weeks after weeks. You just have to think that it is a decision that you take for life, that it is about your happiness . Even if it sounds like a selfish gesture, and you don’t think about your lover feelings, think that it is better to be sincere both with you and your partner, rather to live a life in pain in sadness.

Lack of confidence in women

Although it seems rather unusual, because usually men are those who betray the trust of women, things can stay way. Many times, men started off their life with some jaundice in childhood or adolescence. Ideas that are plugged into their head by the experimented ones who already went through life and experience. Even if these ideas do not have a solid base, but are pure and simple myths, many men live with these ideas . There is also a second factor : that everything is beautiful is desirable. So then men are afraid that many others will appear in the competition better than they, and they will be removed, pushed aside. This is where the frustration and jealousy.

Entourage, friends and lifestyle

A great deal of influence it can have on an individual, is the entourage. Men usually supported celibacy, in turn why women are at the opposite pole and search for marriage and security. As long as friends will sit around, man will not find a stable partner. In the group of friends, man can be easily influenced by the views of others.

Lack of freedom

If the women compromise in this regard in one way or another, find that men have very big problems adjusting in this regard. Eternal adventurers, when they will feel the smallest spiral of freedom, they will escape. Numerous times, they suffer of the syndrome called “invasion of privacy”. The idea that someone could share everything with them shivers down. Plus, they do not support questions, explanations and personality crises of women.

But the reality is…
Fear of marriage is based on an irrational fear, the refusal to face the responsibilities and hardships of life in two. This fear is more met in the men who prefer to love without formalize the relationship . Marriage anxiety is manifested by direct rejections, but with different stated reasons that men bring to the foreground if possible to postpone marriage. Studies of couples of friends last year showed that the rate of marriage among young people is still down from previous years. The main reasons advanced by men are: lack of trust in relationships unstable and insecure, lack of a stable job.. To these it can be added the lack of socio-cultural and intellectual status congruent with partner status, lack of harmonious relationships with parents and future in-law that would endanger conjugal relationship, lack of free time that was used. But the strongest reason is that once married you have to be limited to a single partner, and this is the equivalent of monotony, the decrease in interest towards the beloved one.

What does tradition says? In the United States and beyond, the couple must have at least 18 years before they could marry without parental consent. It appears that up to 18 years is not considered mature couple legally to marry. A 1946 Gallup study showed that the consensus of the population is the ideal age for marriage for women is 21 years. The same study, repeated in 2006 show that age 25 is considered ideal for women and 27 for men. As the purpose of marriage has changed from that of tlove procreation and friendship, the average age at which women marry has started to grow increasingly. We no longer focus on sexual maturity, but rather on the emotional, psychological and even financial aspect.If most of our parents are married by the age of 25 years, now it hardly happens. Marriage is postponed as long as possible, many preferring cohabitation.

There are many couples who already have one child or more, and do not want to legalize that connection between them. Motivated often by not seeking more excitement around their wedding, in itself, meaning money thrown out the window, and the relationship they already have is perfect, even if that act is missing. And, fundamentally, the act of marriage does not alter the relationship between the two partners , relationship that it is perfect without the act. May simply have phobia of marriage certificate.
Most of young people say that marriage is no longer fashionable, we like to have other perspectives in life and for sure other models :a partnership life , celibacy or, even, marriages without children. We have become modern, we want to have fun as much and no time for marriage. The studies done lately, shows that partnerships occupy several percent, against marriage. Longitudinal studies carried out over the years have shown that women who got married teenagers , when they had the age between 16 and 19 years were three times more likely to go to divorce than women who marry after 20 years. This is usually because girls expectations about marriage and couple life are not realistic, but based on planned since childhood fantasies about the ideal couple and family life.
We are in a continuous agitation, we came to believe that there are more important things in life, than to go through the marital status or tiring to organize a party with dozens of relatives and friends. Now, the career has come to occupy a much more important place than marriage. For many women, the job is the main concern, neglecting many times, sentimental life. We feel fulfilled if we have a successful career and no longer have time for marriage! For convenience, we do not realize that these two things can go very well together.

If you don’t feel is the time to get married or if you don’t want too, then you have to tell your partner what you think even with the risk of losing him. It is more honorable to speak out loud and to be sincere rather to lie your partner. Just imagine how you will feel if he is not sincere and straight with you, trying only to avoid the answer at the big question. Maybe you are too afraid of doing this step, so you must speak with your partner, he will understand you because he might feel the same. Maybe you are still studying and for this reason you don’t want to get married before finishing your studies, tell him again. Maybe you realized that you don’t love him so much, that you just got used with his presence and you want something more like passion and true love, tell him. Maybe you don’t see in him a good provider for you and your future children. Tell him, tell him, tell him about all this kind of thoughts if they exist!!!

The fear that something might change, the relationship might alter because cohabitation does not give you peace. It is something new, already begin to share everything. All pluralize, there is not any more ” now is “us”. Everything you do from now on has to do with “us”, the life of the couple. Already you are not one entity, but you form a whole. But you have to see the full glass, to think of how many beautiful things you will live together. Imagine mornings spent in two, cool or warm evenings, meals taken together every day, napping on TV … all these things you can do now will color the life freely.